Where Did I Start? Where Did I Begin? Mixed-martial arts class. Maybe it was to get in shape. Maybe it was to defend myself against women trained in karate with a history of violence. In any case, after three sessions of teetering near black-out levels of wheezing, I decided to shelve that pursuit until my lung capacity was at least greater than that of a dime bag. (* That said, a quick unrelated note that Pride Martial Arts...
An account change notice from Verizon inspired a brief and generous presumption that my bill would be lowered due to a large chunk of monthly payment having been extracted. That was, of course, a ridiculous notion. In any case, friendly advice to the genital pubic: if an exing-relation wished to extract eir service from a shared martial{sic} account, said relation could get an independent line and tether Internet access to eir house over 4G, getting faster speeds than what s/he...
Just a glimpse of her face inside Super Flea, but I was sure I’d seen her before. I checked the mobile/locals features on my phone’s PoF and OKC apps, but got nothing. Oh well. I was leaving, anyway. I’d sold off this week’s portion of my childhood to pay for the mistakes of my adulthood, and there isn’t much left there I haven’t seen. There she is in the parking lot walking ahead of me, so I call out, “Hey,...
“Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?” Today, I am charged with contempt of court. A year ago, I loved my country, and I respected its courts. A favorite slogan of mine was “One Nation Above God”, and I would flaunt this as evidence of my patriotism being stronger than that of any Christian or other believer in phantom deities, as I put my country above all else. At the end of February, the police came at...
Some fat fuck entitled his periodic article in The Times-West Virginian as such. No matter. There is so much I cannot say, for it would be printed out and delivered unto “Justice” to keep me from the children who so desperately need my guidance — a firm hand leading them toward some happiness their father could never achieve and their mother cannot deliver. That is enough to be said of Herl. You are familiar with the history, I take it?...
Hay, guyz. That’s kind of an “old-school” Intarwebs thing. My wife sent me to a mental asylum. You know that, right? Yeah, I said that already. Well, the latest trip courtesy of my dearest beloved only one was to the Erie County Holding Centre. ( Yes, it’s spelled like a Canadian would. ) I readily admitted my propensity toward self-harm and was rushed into a man-size oven-glove, snapped the Velcro around my shoulders after a brief but poignant threat in...
Through the fish-eyed lens of tear-stained eyes, I can barely define the shape of this moment in time. And far from flying high in clear blue skies, I’m spiraling down to the hole in the ground where I hide. If you negotiate the mine-fields of my mind … … and if you beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eye … … and if you make it past the shotguns in the hall? Dial the combination. Open the priest-hole....
Opposing counsel accused me of being an alcohol and marijuana abuser. How did she come up with any marijuana abuse? Apparently she subpoenaed ECMC. Can they do that? Isn’t there some kind of doctor-client privilege? Oh well. In any case, I was presented in quite an unflattering way. So, I arrive at nine-twentysomething and the hearing finally commences at sometime after noon. All this after (a) having my fucking Droid lose its GPS connection, (b) driving around the labyrinthine streets of...
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3 responses to “The Verdict”
That’s justice. Guess what? I got me a fancy attorney whom I am paying over and above 5k and lady justice doesn’t like me either. Good luck with the missed connections. Ha!
You need a “Stephen King” defense. You will have to invent it. But you are a great writer Quinn, and I think you can. I can imagine King’s wife making all kinds of grim accusations based on his fiction in an attempt to keep him our of his kids’ lives. I can also imagine him coming up with a few pithy things to say about real life v. fiction. Go for it!
Thanks, man. I don’t know why I didn’t say that when you posted it. I’m just now _really_ learning how WordPress works, as opposed to just listing it on my resume, so I probably missed some comments. I’m going over everything now and it’s a crazy ride. I’ve changed so much. Everything’s changed so much.