No. Not really. It ain’t going anywhere, is it? It’s part of me. To “cure” myself would be to kill my self, and I don’t want that now, do I? MAOI is done. See the log up top for the final entry. Next up is “Viibryd.” As noted there, WTF? That’s one hell of a random-number-generated space-name. Sounds like something my character would be smuggling in my Star Wars campaign. I haven’t bothered to look it up. What’s the point?...
Last week my doctor switched me from Parnate (tranylcypromine) to Nardil (phenelzine). At least it’s easier to spell. Yesterday at work my friends kept asking if I was high. I was very tired, maybe slightly euphoric in that tired kind of way. Not a particularly pleasant high, unless all I had to do was sit in the sun. Not if I had to correct the code of others in the middle of a deploy. After work, I had a...
No new MAOI dosage, no more late-night milk-spilling slapstick, and no better feelings. To be fair to the meds, the past month has been a stressful one. The wife thinks I have Asperger Syndrome. (Henceforth “AS” for brevity and to avoid the “ass-burger” images.) It fits my career, lifestyle, and personality, and I’ve suspected it myself. Unfortunately, if it’s AS and not “just” depression and anxiety, the behavior that causes us so much domestic strife is not so much a...
I sat in a pool of milk and wondered how it got on the floor. I knew I’d spilled it on the countertop trying to pour it into my cereal, but how did it get all over the floor? I stood, shakily, and saw that the half-gallon cardboard container of organic whole milk was tipped over, as was my cup of cereal. Milk was everywhere, soaking boxes, creeping under the toaster, dribbling into the sink. Wednesday afternoon, my psychiatrist upped...
I ate one bite of the pesto, then went to check the jar. Grana Panado cheese. It seems to be an aged cheese, so I erred on the side of caution and didn’t eat the dinner, which kinda pissed me off because the kids hardly touched theirs, either, and thus my wife’s dinner-making effort was wasted tonight. The one bite doesn’t seem to have done anything. “Thank God I only took a tiny [bite].” As I was Googling “Grana Panado”,...
The first four days are done. Tomorrow I start 10mg twice a day. Four days of that, then the (presumably) final thrice daily. I suppose I won’t really have 20mg in my system until tomorrow evening. So far, the only ill effects have been an upset stomach in the morning that goes away after breakfast and towards noontime. I’m keeping track of my food and drink intake at the MAOI Ingestion Log above. No “hypertensive crises” yet, but I’m being...
They’ve tried every other class of anti-depressant. Only the MAOI remain. Today I started the first 10mg titration round of tranylcyprom (generic of Parnate), after a two-week “washout” period wherein all other anti-depressants (Pristiq, in my case) had to be out of my system. The washout wasn’t as bad as I’d feared. Maybe two weeks wasn’t enough to fling me into the pit of despair that landed me into BryLin and ECT over the summer when I foolishly attempted a...
alcoholism anxiety atheism bash childhood cops courts dating debt depression Disney ECT Emacs erotica existentialism film fuckitall hacking history hobbies language legal-bullshit linux lithium loneliness lust MAOI marriage music needs-a-disclaimer parenthood race raw role-playing ryo screen separation sex smoking ssh Star Wars sysadmin text whimsy women
