Category: Fiction

  • Water Damage Filtered Through Poe

    My kitchen ceiling flooded yesterday.  Not sure how this poesy parody came to mind, but here it is.

    Once upon a morning drizzly, while I hack-ed, gruff and grizzly,
    O’er many quaint and curious statements of programmatic lore—

    While I type-ed, buffers filling, suddenly there came a spilling,
    As of something gently dripping, dripping on my kitchen floor—

    “‘Tis rain fallen,” I muttered, “dripping on my kitchen floor—
            Only this and nothing more.”

    Ah, distinctly I remember that chill and bleak nascent October;
    As each accursed drop of water merged legion ‘pon the kitchen floor.

    Raging thus the pool to shallow; —vainly I sought towels to swallow;
    and from linen rack surcease of deluge—deluge from the upstairs Floor—

    From the queerly lun’tic dweller on the upstairs Floor—
    Nameless here for evermore.

     

  • Gag Reflex

    Regarding the “injustice inherent in the system”, there is much hyperbole from students who ache to be involved in something more than the contrived lives of reality television.  Few of them have experienced any real injustice that has not been instigated by themselves, e.g. by spitting in the face of a 9-5 cop with no more culpability in the state of the state than a 9-5 cashier.  Not that such an act is “wrong” per se.  It’s a … naturalemotional … response.  Rather, it’s playing a role in this damned stage-play we call life.

    Unkempt but attractive youth holding a sign painted with an Intarwebs slogan are “good”.

    Oldish father-figure scowling mustachioed men in a uniform are “evil”.

    So, you’re playing your parts.  Anonymous is playing its part, but they’re still just kids.  Angry kids.  Well-intentioned kids.  But … kids.

    We’re all kids.  We’ve not felt the pleasure and pain of adulthood.  We’re denied that today.  We don’t work until we marry then work until we die.  We no longer follow the simple cycle of a century ago.  We’re a society of leisure– even those of us whose muscles or minds are tired to exhaustion when the school– when the work day ends.

    I’m not a black man beaten over the head for drinking water two meters south of where I was designated to do so.

    I’m not a slave who fought from the arena to the gates of Rome– to days of death hanging on the Appian Way.

    … and I’m sure as fuck no Guy Fawkes.

    But, really, what did any of them accomplish?

    Was anything learned from the lessons they taught?  V For Vendetta is a rousing good film– inspiring while one suspends their disbelief in the redemption of mankind.  But how does it end?  A crowd removing their masks under fireworks over Tchaikovsky.  What is the next scene, the one that plays out under the upbeat roar of The Rolling Stones during the end credits?

    1. They are, all of them, gunned down.  The media covers it up.
    2. They back down, and go home, and replace Fawkes with their usual masks.

    Nobody wins.

    No more than when Fawkes was hanged and posthumously drawn-and-quartered.  Indeed– the only lesson learned was that we are to OBEY.

    I’m not a hero.

    I’m not a martyr.

    I’m a father.

    The state took my daughters from me, at the ridiculously flimsy request of their mother.

    There was no violence.

    Anyone with an order of “protection” against him is assumed to be a wife-beater or child-molester by all but those who’ve had an order of “protection” against them.

    I don’t have the will to write much more.  Suffice it to say that the state is corrupt.  The “state” as in the government, and the “state” as in the current condition we, humanity, find ourselves inhabiting.

    I am not a hero.

    I am not a martyr.

    I am a father.

    I have felt the sting of the whip of the state.

    If you ever feel that same blunt, draining “sting”, then, perhaps, you will understand why “terrorists” do what they do.

    Where there is no law, or when the law is unjust, one has no recourse to the law, and ones only recourse is, by definition– lawless.

    I am advocating no such thing, because, as I have said…

    It would make no difference.

    The true criminals, the truly evil, are those who bring more lives into this world.

    Man cannot be “good” on a global scale, and men cannot survive on a local scale.

    We are doomed as a species.

    Not to die, but to act our parts in a play as poorly executed as the dream of a drunkard.

    Ah, I’d forgotten the title.  If I were to be any more explicit in this post, I would be arrested.

    That is not an exaggeration.

    I’ve spoke “wrong”  before (in a drunken post to Facebook) and my “wife”, the “mother” of my children, initiated an unfortunate series of events that had me committed to the local snake pit– emerging just late enough to miss the trial at the end of the initial seven-day order of “protection” against me, causing me to miss my chance to contest it, causing (by my wife stating that I “blew off” the appearance) the 9-to-5 judge to consider me as not caring whether or not I see my daughters again, and causing me to be kept from my daughters (save for two hours a week at $50) for over a year now.

    I was put in jail for leaving flowers at her door– an incredibly stupid gesture of appreciation for her allowing the privilege of my paying to see my daughters.

    Daughters who need their father.

    She’s hurting them more than she is me.  And, even by my barely-emotional standards, she’s hurting me a goddamned lot.  So, she must be downright torturing our beautiful girls by keeping them from their father.  Yet, she is, titularly, legally, the “mother”, and, to the state, it is the mother that decides the fate of “her” children.

    That’s enough.

    Whenever any of us loses against the justice that isn’t, we all lose.

    My daughters have lost.

    I’ve lost.

    We’ve all lost.

    Game over.

    You see, “justice” is a fairy tale, a fiction– the mirror of the monster tales told to control children.

    Justice, it is a fable.

    A fiction, as purposefully unreal as the loving protector “God”.

    It does not exist.

    If you are to have any justice,

    you must make it yourself,

    and necessarily die.

     

  • Dusk Of Defiance

    The narrative catalyst that brought about the ultimate physical separation of my wife from myself — when she texted me from Rochester threatening to never bring the children back unless I vacated our rental home — was a story I wrote about a character in a Star Wars role-playing game I’d started playing on the advice of my therapist.  To start doing some of my “own” things.

    Apparently, to her,  it resembled too closely our real family, and she took offense, or was frightened, or merely offended or annoyed, but, in any case– we are not “we” any longer, nor ever shall be again.

    I admit I was a bit of a mess becoming messier when this bomb was dropped, but in the past half-year, I’ve cleaned up.  I’m with a good woman.  I’m not as impulsive and reckless as some might say I had been.  Not as many entertaining stories, but then, I don’t live to amuse “you”, eh?

    In the course of becoming a better person who is always a worse person when tomorrow’s version glances back at him, my “free” time has diminished, and I’ve left that group of role-players.  That group of fellow Star Wars geeks are closer friends to me than nearly any of the others in my orbit who hold that title.   When my wif– when I was involuntarily placed into a mental hospital, all but one of the non-family callers were part of that group.

    As such, they deserved more than an unexplained cessation of my semi-monthly visits.   Here it is, reposted from its permanent location within our campaign files at Obsidian Portal.

    My character is (was) Kelyn Langolier.   When we meet him, he’s a smuggler.  A scoundrel.   His father killed himself when Kelyn was on the cusp of adolescence, willing him The Spelljammer — a modified starship with a weird and ancient engine that was stolen by a group of  Trandoshan slavers.

    As an adult, while Kelyn was off-world working as a legitimate “Space Trucker”, his wife turned up the gas and went to bed with their two daughters.  None of them woke up.

    Or so he thought.

    Due to some dark pedigree of Force-sensitivity unbeknownst to Kelyn, the Imperial Inquisitors orchestrated the murder of Kelyn’s wife, but left clones in place of his abducted daughters, making it appear to be a murder-suicide resulting from the depression of a wife left behind once too often by a trucker trying to make ends meet.

    Kelyn’s daughters — Adria and Bella — were tutored by Grand Inquisitor Draco as Sith “witches”.  Kelyn turned to smuggling, then stumbled upon the “Dawn of Defiance” — the period between “Revenge of the Sith” and “A New Hope” wherein Senator Bail Organa is funding the nascent rebellion against the growing Empire.  Eventually, he recovered his birthright starship, and his companions redeemed and returned his daughters to him.

    If you’re a fellow Star Wars geek, you’ll love it.  I hope.  If you’re not, you might still like it.  If you’re my please-soon-to-be-ex-wife, you’ll probably think it’s more about real life than it is.

    In any case, here it be: a future-long-time-ago shock that will shit you up.  Enjoy.

    Well, I say “Enjoy.”

     

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