Last night was a rough one. Not sure if it had anything to do with the lithium; probably more a case of a particularly typically awful day at work. 2016-12-14 (Wednesday) Woke up early today. Took the first morning 300mg. I’d divvied up all my morning and night doses in a pill reminder box. I could skip a day with just the Wellbutrin and friends, but don’t wanna miss one with lithium in the mix. Got to work early, too....
Went to bed yesterday around noon-thirty while spending a sick day at home, mostly out of boredom. Woke up at 5PM. While finishing leftover potatoes and brussels sprouts, I watched the tail end of “Don’t Make Waves” with Tony Curtis (with Sharon Tate), then a few episodes of “How the Universe Works” before settling into a funk that had me definitely wanting to flick the switch. I took my double-double of Klonopin and lithium and went back to bed around...
After exhausting the pharmacopoeia of most depression-fighting medications, my drug dealer finally prescribed lithium. After I’d suggested it. A special fellow crazy person to whom I am attached has been taking it with spectacular results, although with a bipolar history. My disorderly mental health record has consisted mostly of deep and dark troughs and void of manic highs save for the few hours after my morning Adderall. Nevertheless, lithium is (one of?) the only medications proven to reduce rates of...
Six months. 31.5 times six. 93 days? I’m not particularly mathematically adept at this time. Nevertheless and irregardless– off the wagon. First, it was the party for a friend of my lover. Strong through an hour, maybe two. Then anxious. Then was asked to get a drink for her. Hers were weak. I nod and smile. To the bar. Drop a twenty. “Double vodka.” It was downhill from there. Down into “Proud Mary in the...
My evening begins with Tinder. Ron right? r you free to hook up for coffee sometime? u seem like my kinda guy. 2 many weirdos on here tho so im gonna delete. Anyway u should text me at 123 456 7890 Spokeo is my friend. Pittsburgh burner, registered to a male. Multiple priors. At least you’re a fellow Pennsyltuckian. Yeah, too many weirdos. Tried to get taxes done tonight. Found out the 401k (early-withdrawal due to previous employer closing its...
For an “alcoholic”, there is only one problem– alcohol. At that first AA meeting, when I raised my hand and said, “I’m Quinn and I’m an alcoholic”, I bargained with myself that it was some sort of truth. Major regrettable events had transpired which, without alcohol, would have been mere forgettable incidents. I have problems associated with alcohol, like a racist has problems associated with race. So, I’m an alcoholic, right? No, I’m not– and I won’t call myself that again. I’ve...
Second night at AA. I didn’t talk much this time beyond the obligatory “I’m Quinn and I’m an alcoholic”, “Hi, Bill”, “Thank you, Bill.” I gave my number to a good looking guy, my age or (probably) younger. I am regretting this. It brings on the kind of anxiety I had when the ex-wife and I gave our number to a “friendly” waiter at Raj Mahal who turned out to be an Amway drone. That’s what AA reminds me of– a cult. Not in...
It’s been a while. How you doin’? It’s been a while longer since I wrote anything of general utility. Most of my spew has been of a peculiar flavor spawned of my bile. Give me a break, friends– the strongest urge to write is to pull in those who ken what you pen. It’s rare for anyone to truly know you. … I’m speaking to a likewise rare audience here. For the majority of humanity, their 12-piece “Age 2+” puzzle...
alcoholism anxiety atheism bash childhood cops courts dating debt depression Disney ECT Emacs erotica existentialism film fuckitall hacking history hobbies language legal-bullshit linux lithium loneliness lust MAOI marriage music needs-a-disclaimer parenthood race raw role-playing ryo screen separation sex smoking ssh Star Wars sysadmin text whimsy women
