No time right now for a detailed update, so here’s a few of the highlights since my last major life update back near November of 2012. 0x01: Met a wonderful woman at work. She wore a poncho one day. I said, “It’s impossible to be unhappy wearing a poncho.” It’s a Mighty Boosh reference. Next day she left an orange juice bottle on my desk wearing a little poncho. We are still together, despite my sometimes difficult personality. She’s the best...
Where Did I Start? Where Did I Begin? Mixed-martial arts class. Maybe it was to get in shape. Maybe it was to defend myself against women trained in karate with a history of violence. In any case, after three sessions of teetering near black-out levels of wheezing, I decided to shelve that pursuit until my lung capacity was at least greater than that of a dime bag. (* That said, a quick unrelated note that Pride Martial Arts...
An account change notice from Verizon inspired a brief and generous presumption that my bill would be lowered due to a large chunk of monthly payment having been extracted. That was, of course, a ridiculous notion. In any case, friendly advice to the genital pubic: if an exing-relation wished to extract eir service from a shared martial{sic} account, said relation could get an independent line and tether Internet access to eir house over 4G, getting faster speeds than what s/he...
Just a glimpse of her face inside Super Flea, but I was sure I’d seen her before. I checked the mobile/locals features on my phone’s PoF and OKC apps, but got nothing. Oh well. I was leaving, anyway. I’d sold off this week’s portion of my childhood to pay for the mistakes of my adulthood, and there isn’t much left there I haven’t seen. There she is in the parking lot walking ahead of me, so I call out, “Hey,...
“Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?” Today, I am charged with contempt of court. A year ago, I loved my country, and I respected its courts. A favorite slogan of mine was “One Nation Above God”, and I would flaunt this as evidence of my patriotism being stronger than that of any Christian or other believer in phantom deities, as I put my country above all else. At the end of February, the police came at...
Some fat fuck entitled his periodic article in The Times-West Virginian as such. No matter. There is so much I cannot say, for it would be printed out and delivered unto “Justice” to keep me from the children who so desperately need my guidance — a firm hand leading them toward some happiness their father could never achieve and their mother cannot deliver. That is enough to be said of Herl. You are familiar with the history, I take it?...
Hay, guyz. That’s kind of an “old-school” Intarwebs thing. My wife sent me to a mental asylum. You know that, right? Yeah, I said that already. Well, the latest trip courtesy of my dearest beloved only one was to the Erie County Holding Centre. ( Yes, it’s spelled like a Canadian would. ) I readily admitted my propensity toward self-harm and was rushed into a man-size oven-glove, snapped the Velcro around my shoulders after a brief but poignant threat in...
Through the fish-eyed lens of tear-stained eyes, I can barely define the shape of this moment in time. And far from flying high in clear blue skies, I’m spiraling down to the hole in the ground where I hide. If you negotiate the mine-fields of my mind … … and if you beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eye … … and if you make it past the shotguns in the hall? Dial the combination. Open the priest-hole....
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One response to “The Final Cut”
Is a priest hole much like a deer hole?
It’s a hallucination. A dream. It ends. Eventuality, it ends. I hope….