0x02:<\/b><\/span> Started “vaping”, as per the penultimate (as of this writing)\u00a0“Digital\/Analog Freaky Smoke” entry<\/a>. \u00a0I’ve got 90% lung capacity now. Pretty good for smoking raw zware tobacco for two decades. \u00a0No more wheezing at the end of a long exhalation, and no more of that stench you only notice when you stop smoking.<\/p>\n 0x03:<\/strong><\/span> Shaved my head. \u00a0Kept the goatee and mustache. \u00a0Without facial hair, a man ain’t a man. \u00a0A bald man without facial hair is demoted all the way to a baby. \u00a0Grew the hair back. \u00a0Shaved it again, and the current\u00a0HEAD\u00a0is bald with beard.<\/p>\n 0x04:<\/strong><\/span> Contact with the girls has continued at $50 a week for a two-hour supervised visit. \u00a0I contend that the $200 would be better spent directly on the children who want free access to their father. \u00a0My opinions do not matter to anyone who makes decisions about my participation in my family. \u00a0Namely: lawyers, this police state of ours, and a woman apparently scorned.<\/p>\n 0x05:<\/strong><\/span> Continue to see Dr Gandalf. \u00a0In March we were both surprised to realize it had been a year since my involuntary hospitalization at the Erie County Medical Centre. \u00a0We’ve made a lot of progress. \u00a0I’ve made a lot of progress, mostly credited to my new special lady friend. \u00a0Needless to say, grieving the loss of ones family is “difficult” — even if that loss is (mostly) figurative. \u00a0Maybe worse in this case, since my daughters aren’t “gone” from the world, but simply being kept from\u00a0me<\/em>. \u00a0They’re not silent in their graves– they live and cry and need their father, yet are restricted to a few hours a month of closely supervised visits that preclude so much as a whisper between us.<\/p>\n 0x06:<\/strong><\/span> My oldest daughter turns ten soon. \u00a0I’ve missed over a year of the last years of her childhood. \u00a0Girl? \u00a0She’ll be a woman soon.<\/p>\n Orders of protection are generally classified as either “stay-away” or “refrain-from”. \u00a0The former specifies that a party (the “respondent”) avoid all contact with another party (the “petitioner”) and perhaps other associated parties, such as children under the petitioner’s care. \u00a0 The latter simply requires the respondent to refrain from some specific behavior.<\/p>\n If the petitioner is in a state of desperation or urgency (e.g. being contacted by an exish-spouse with undue frequency and in states of inebriation and\/or otherwise being a nuisance), \u00a0s\/he may not know or (understandably) care to learn the difference between these two types of orders. \u00a0S\/he may ask that the respondent be denied any communication with or access to his or herself and<\/em> their children. \u00a0S\/he may have felt this was his or her only recourse, and, if s\/he is a “she”, the petition will likely be stamped by a “family” court judge without consideration and “he” will be denied his right to be an active and available father.<\/p>\n If such a bureaucratic miscalculation is made, the petitioner may request that the order be vacated by the \u00a0issuing judge of the original or a subsequently amended version of the order.<\/p>\n If the petitioner still fears some manner of harassment from the respondent, s\/he may request the aforementioned “refrain-from” order which, if granted, would result in the arrest of the respondent for contempt of court should s\/he “misbehave”. \u00a0In cases that do not involve violence, a “refrain-from” order is logically the best and fairest choice. \u00a0 And, from the perspective of the petitioner, it puts even greater pressure on the respondent to modify his or her behavior, as s\/he is still allowed to communicate with the petitioner, but if the petitioner construes any such communication as harassing or otherwise in violation of the order, s\/he may\u00a0call the authorities and have the respondent immediately arrested.<\/p>\n In the author’s opinion, such risk is worth being allowed access to his or her children.<\/p>\n Furthermore, assuming those children are in no danger from the respondent and were not exposed to the alleged harassment, a single-party refrain-from order is a more fair and just recourse for a petitioner who may have a legitimate reason to limit their communication and feels compelled to seek legal intervention in the matter.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n 0x07:<\/strong><\/span> I’m on Wellbutrin ER 300mg\/day, Adderall ER 60mg\/day, Klonopin 0.5mg\/6h as needed, and some residual Provigil. \u00a0The Provigil (presumably in conjunction w\/the Adderall) gives me the anxiety somethin’ fierce, so it’s rarely used.<\/p>\n 0x08:<\/strong><\/span> The divorce continues to crawl along. \u00a0An agreement was made that if a professional evaluated me as suitable for unsupervised visitation, it would be done. \u00a0The evaluation was made. \u00a0It hasn’t been done. \u00a0The next court date is in a week. \u00a0It will probably be postponed. \u00a0Again.<\/p>\n 0x09:<\/strong><\/span> Complicating the divorce issues, my place of work shut down last month. \u00a0I immediately notified my lawyer of this. \u00a0I promptly applied for state assistance, and for a modification of the support order. \u00a0Because speaking with the mother of my children would mean my going to jail, I was unable to freely communicate regarding any issues of financial needs. \u00a0My modification petition was a blunt request for a “suspension”, since NYS unemployment insurance (“UI”) would barely cover my rent and bare essentials– not counting food as an essential.<\/p>\n 0x0A:<\/strong><\/span> Got a job about two weeks later, mostly thanks to a good friend from the old place. \u00a0Received a total of one UI check for about $300. \u00a0Attended the scheduled support modification hearing after filling out another dozen pages of financial details. \u00a0Opposing counsel requested it be rolled into the matrimonial proceedings. \u00a0I don’t know what my obligations are now. \u00a0My communications with anyone in this debacle has been unreliable, sporadic, downright refused, punished with jail time, costly, necessarily vague, rarely understood or fully addressed– it’s been shite, o my brothers.<\/p>\n That just about brings y’all up to date. \u00a0I suppose I didn’t have to put it in bullet-list form, but I didn’t want to change the title.<\/p>\n The past year and a half has been, mostly, some kind of a special Hell. \u00a0 A relationship with a woman triggered it, and a relationship with a better woman has helped turn things around. \u00a0 In any case, I’m a better man than I was last year.<\/p>\n If we can’t say, every day, that we’re better than the other-self behind us in the clone-queue of our life, then we might as well be dead.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" No time right now for a detailed update, so here’s a few of the highlights since my last major life update back near November of 2012. 0x01: Met a wonderful woman at work. \u00a0She wore a poncho one day. \u00a0I said, “It’s impossible to be unhappy wearing a poncho.” \u00a0It’s a\u00a0Mighty Boosh\u00a0reference. \u00a0 Next day […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[3,48,37,35,5,89,31],"class_list":["post-382","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-me","tag-depression","tag-happiness","tag-legal-bullshit","tag-needs-a-disclaimer","tag-parenthood","tag-raw","tag-separation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=382"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":460,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382\/revisions\/460"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=382"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=382"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=382"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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