{"id":325,"date":"2013-05-16T11:43:48","date_gmt":"2013-05-16T15:43:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/?p=325"},"modified":"2014-01-01T16:05:08","modified_gmt":"2014-01-01T21:05:08","slug":"digitalanalog-freaky-smoke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/2013\/05\/16\/digitalanalog-freaky-smoke\/","title":{"rendered":"Digital\/Analog Freaky Smoke"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Where Did I Start? \u00a0Where Did I Begin?<\/h1>\n

Mixed-martial arts class. \u00a0Maybe it was to get in shape. \u00a0Maybe it was to defend myself against women trained in karate with a history of violence. \u00a0 In any case, after three sessions of teetering near black-out levels of wheezing, I decided to shelve that pursuit until my lung capacity was at least greater than that of a dime bag. \u00a0(* That said, a quick unrelated note that Pride Martial Arts in Williamsville is an excellent school with all-round awesome teachers and fellow students and I heartily recommend it to anyone in better shape than myself was, or with greater determination.)<\/p>\n

Obviously, smoking carbon was doing something bad to my lungs. \u00a0Maybe it was bad like anal rape versus smooth and loving consensual Barry Brown anal sex, since it did give me a kinda sexy voice and seems to have steeled myself against infections of other sorts. \u00a0In either case, I’m still risking a rip.<\/p>\n

I’ve debated the “badness” of cigarettes, but I’ll never deny that smoking “analog” is no better than locking yourself in a room in a house on fire. \u00a0Still, unless you’re a monk begging for rice on the steppes of the Himalaya, shove your complaints about the “filthy” habits of others.<\/p>\n

Was I afraid of cancer? \u00a0Hell no. \u00a0As with a not-insignificant cohort of smokers, the danger and self-destruction is a major draw, and kept me at it in times of grief and such. \u00a0So, while cancer was not a problem, there was the bad breath, and the stinking clothing. \u00a0Losing those couldn’t but help my then-active post-separation dating success.<\/p>\n

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This Is What You Want, This Is What You Get<\/h1>\n

When I was inpatient for “shock therapy” there was no smoking. \u00a0When my wife indirectly had me committed to a mental asylum, it was the same. \u00a0Those places aren’t the luxury resorts portrayed in film, folks. \u00a0Not like Shutter Island, \u00a0cigarette dangling from my lips as I and a creepy murder-rapist (in that order) trim the hedges with sharp instruments of grass destruction. \u00a0Ahem.<\/em><\/p>\n

Nicotine patches are issued. \u00a0 Even the sometimes-sadistic sentries of the sanitariums know a loony’s gonna be less riled if he’s getting his fix. \u00a0 That might temper the physical withdrawal, but there are other reasons we smoke. \u00a0There is far more to smoking than just nicotine. \u00a0First and foremost, there’s the smoking<\/em>. \u00a0 Gum and patches aren’t gonna make beautiful greyscale billows blossom from my lips. \u00a0“E-cigarettes” would.<\/p>\n

For a guy buying mass-produced packs of cigarettes, that’s enough of a plus when deciding on a path out of the smoking room. \u00a0I’d been rolling my own for almost two decades, starting with such devilish concoctions as “Black Death” and other half-zware European blends. \u00a0For me, there was a ritual involved. \u00a0When I was in the asylum, I crumpled notebook paper into something soft enough to roll, stripped off stand-in tobacco leaves, and rolled my fake cigarettes to pass the time and bypass the desire. \u00a0E-cigs — “digital” cigarettes — have that gadgetry and ritual. \u00a0There are countless devices and modifications and flavors and mixes.<\/p>\n

Yeah, these are for me.<\/p>\n

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All The Right Friends<\/h1>\n

A co-worker and friend had been using the G6 from Halo<\/a>. \u00a0 They intrigued me, but I wasn’t ready to plunk down $60 for the starter kit just yet. \u00a0One morning on the way to work, I picked up a cheap disposable e-cig. \u00a0Just a plastic cigarette you’d smoke as you would its analog cousin. \u00a0At the time, I had nothing against which to compare it, but I was decidedly impressed at being able to smoke at a near-constant rate, indoors and out.<\/p>\n

The next day, I put in my order for the G6 with a half-dozen “carts” pre-filled with Torque-56 flavor.<\/p>\n

\"USB<\/a>
The G6 Starter Kit. Well, most of it.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Now I had a reference point. \u00a0Although I’d later come to eschew this model, the G6 is far better than ghetto gas-station digi-fags, and an excellent choice for someone just dipping their lungs into the “vaping” scene. \u00a0In addition to what’s pictured above, there’s a male USB dongle that screws into the white “cigarette” battery tube to facilitate charging directly at your PC or through a wall adapter as shown. \u00a0 Be very careful about where you stick your dongle!<\/em> \u00a0The ultimate reason for my “movin’ on up” to a different style of e-cig resulted from making the mistake of plugging mine into the USB adapter in my car. \u00a0If it isn’t pushing the voltage through the amperage as shown on the official adapter, you’re gonna blow your dongle<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Hadn’t done that since college.<\/p>\n

It’s a good starter kit, and I recommend it to those who aren’t sure they’re gonna stick with the vaping life. \u00a0Me? \u00a0Cold-turkey off the death-sticks after \u00a0my first puff of clean, digitally-remastered smoke. \u00a0However<\/em>, I’ve a friend who didn’t take to them. \u00a0He bought the G6. \u00a0He likes it, but it just doesn’t take the place of cigarettes for him. \u00a0In my personal experience, he’s a rarity among those who’ve tried a second-tier e-cig. \u00a0Most have stuck with the digital suck, although many of them are only casual puffers.<\/p>\n

I’ve heard of many who hated<\/em> e-cigs when they first tried them. \u00a0(What — you loved smoking the first time, too?) \u00a0In all of those cases, they were suckled at the dirty plastic teat of a gas-station fag. \u00a0If you’re seriously considering vaping as an alternative to old-fashioned dirt-smoking, then get something like the G6 or any of the other re-usable alternative kits from reputable dealers. \u00a0Not a gas station. \u00a0Not the mall. \u00a0 I’ll reference more later, but Halo is a great place to start.<\/p>\n

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I Ain’t No Rocket Scientist<\/h1>\n

I don’t keep up with the “vaping” community. \u00a0My terms may be wrong. \u00a0My understanding of the science may be wrong. \u00a0However, I’m smart enough to know when I’m absolutely wrong, and I’m mostly right.<\/p>\n

Uh, yeah.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I should go over the mechanics and the terms before we move along. \u00a0First, the vapist vernacular:<\/p>\n