{"id":305,"date":"2012-04-15T23:04:27","date_gmt":"2012-04-16T03:04:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/?p=305"},"modified":"2026-04-07T08:56:15","modified_gmt":"2026-04-07T12:56:15","slug":"the-final-cut","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/2012\/04\/15\/the-final-cut\/","title":{"rendered":"The Final Cut"},"content":{"rendered":"

Through the fish-eyed lens of tear-stained eyes, I can barely define the shape of this moment in time.<\/p>\n

And far from flying high in clear blue skies, I’m spiraling down to the hole in the ground where I hide.<\/p>\n

If you negotiate the mine-fields of my mind …<\/p>\n

… and if you beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eye …<\/p>\n

… and if you make it past the shotguns in the hall?<\/p>\n

Dial the combination.<\/p>\n

Open the priest-hole.<\/p>\n

And, if I’m in, I’ll tell ya.<\/p>\n

There’s a kid who had a big hallucination — making love to girls in magazines.<\/p>\n

He wonders if you’re sleeping with your new-found faith. \u00a0Could anybody love him<\/em>\u00a0… or is it just a crazy dream?<\/p>\n

And … if I showed you my dark side, would you still hold me tonight?<\/p>\n

And … if I opened my heart to you — and showed you my weak side — what would you do?<\/p>\n

[…]<\/p>\n

Would you take the children away, and leave me alone<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Would you smile in re-assurance as you whispered down the phone?<\/p>\n

Would you send me packing\u00a0…<\/p>\n

… or would you take me home<\/em>?<\/p>\n

I thought I oughta bare my naked feelings.<\/p>\n

I thought I oughta tear the curtain down.<\/p>\n

I held the blade in trembling hands, prepared to make it, but —<\/p>\n

Just then the phone rang.<\/p>\n

I never had the nerve to make the final cut.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’m going to bed now, calm and cool. \u00a0This is not a cry for help. \u00a0It’s just the only song to which I know all the lyrics by heart, and which I sing pitch-perfectly every seventh-or-so time I go out to smoke, and which probably annoys the hell out of my neighbors and the happy couples engaging in clandestine nocturnal carnal rendezvouz in the park.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Do not call the cops. \u00a0Do not have their standard issues kicking in my door. \u00a0Let me relax, where maniacs don’t blow holes in sad men by remote control.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Where everyone has recourse to the law.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

And no-one takes the children anymore.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

No-one takes the children anymore.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Through the fish-eyed lens of tear-stained eyes, I can barely define the shape of this moment in time. And far from flying high in clear blue skies, I’m spiraling down to the hole in the ground where I hide. If you negotiate the mine-fields of my mind … … and if you beat the dogs […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[3,33,35,5,89,31],"class_list":["post-305","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-me","tag-depression","tag-fuckitall","tag-needs-a-disclaimer","tag-parenthood","tag-raw","tag-separation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":464,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305\/revisions\/464"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fazigu.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}